Reading the Bible in 90 Days

I recently finished a Bible reading plan in 90 days called, B90. It was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had reading God’s Word.

When I first landed on MomsToolBox.com, I read the comments of how so many graduates of the program had connected with God in a way they never thought possible. I wasn’t scared by the timeline, in fact I was fairly confident (for the first time in my life) that I could accomplish the task. But more than anything, I desperately desired to take my walk with God to a new level, and had hoped this program would help get me to that place.

If you are considering participating in the B90 program, there are some things you need to be fully aware of. It starts out great for the first few weeks. You’re cranking along, feeling great, reading things you’ve never even noticed before that you read a million times. God’s Word will quite literally come to life, and your spirit will quicken. However, the program has consequences.

About midway through the reading plan is when our son Tavin developed an illness that we’re still in the dark about. We spent countless hours in ER, at Children’s Hospital, and having every test imaginable done on our poor little guy. He endured so much trauma and pain for nearly 6 weeks straight. The pain for him was so horrific that he spent hours screaming in agony and writhing in pain every day, and suffering from extreme night terrors each night.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my mom’s cancer began to progress rapidly, and she ended up in the hospital for a week at the very same time that our son was sick. Her cancer had nearly doubled in only one short month. Our family was devastated.

To top it off, financially we couldn’t keep afloat. Our bills backed up and we realized we had no other option than to get further in debt just to buy the things we needed.

I often found myself angry with God throughout all of this madness that was encircling us, but being committed to the B90 plan kept me in God’s Word and in God’s presence. However, I also realized I had fallen days behind. Fortunately you are offered two grace days, which I took, but was still five days behind. I did complete the program; however it wasn’t in 90 days, it took me 95.

As I made my weekly contact with our group leader on her website, I read what other people were commenting about throughout the process too. As I read through them, I began to see a trend. This wasn’t the first time many people had attempted to complete this program. Many were on their third or fourth try. And the number one reason most people stopped was due to some kind of personal tragedy that tore them away.
This was a common thread throughout our group. People were being attacked left and right by the enemy. Some were strong enough to keep pushing through it, while others, like my husband, just couldn’t take the added pressure of being confined to a stringent timeline on top of everything else crashing around them.

Many people ask me, “What was it that made the experience so great?” And the first thing I have to admit is that I read the whole entire Bible, cover to cover. No small feat for any Christian. Most long time Christians have read “scriptures” here and there but  haven’t experienced it in its entirety.

Better yet was the short time frame to complete the 1500 page, 6 point font book. And I say this because when you need to keep reading so much in such a short period of time, everything remains incredibly fresh in your mind. Suddenly the puzzle starts coming together like a rubix cube, only it doesn’t feel so overwhelming and complicated. The veil is lifted and everything that seemed so confusing suddenly begins to make sense.
I was also able to visualize the series of events that took place, and the Bible became an incredible lesson for me in our world’s history, starting at the beginning of time! Something no school book in our system will EVER offer!

Reading the Bible on a two year plan reduces your chances of experiencing the wholeness and completeness of what God is trying to teach us in our walk with Him. You can lose so much. It’s no different than asking you to sit down right now and do a long algebra problem from high school. If you’re not doing that sort of thing on a daily basis, you will struggle with the equation. So when you read the New Testament, it will be incredibly difficult to remember where you read scriptures that Jesus, Peter, Matthew, James and Paul referred to. When you read Isaiah or Jeremiah, you’ll have a hard time recalling their roles in Chronicles or Kings. (Did you even KNOW that most of the prophets were first introduced in those books?)

Through the B90 plan, you will see and experience God like never before. He will show you things you’ve glazed over in the past. There is no glazing in this program. No skipping forward because it’s not what you want to read about at that time. That’s how most of us read the Bible. We search out what we want to hear, or even dumbly fumble through it “accidentally” landing on a scripture in hopes God will talk to us. And you’ll be fascinated to see how God will actually begin to speak to your circumstances through your daily readings.

The program offers a bible specifically sectioned off for 90 days. However, you can use your own Bible, but they recommend that you use one that does not include devotionals, study notes, or things of that nature, because those things will distract you from the reading.

I found that things were jumping out at me all over the place, so I just grabbed a pencil and began to underline scriptures that spoke to me or surprised me so I could go back to them later. I also held a weekly B90 small group with my brother-in-laws and my husband to discuss those very things. That increased my experience so much more!

You need to be seriously committed to this program if you’re considering it at all. Know your time limitations. Each daily reading take approximately one to one and a half hours, depending on your individual reading pace. Again, you do receive two grace days, but if you don’t use them then technically you will have read the Bible in 88 days. I chose to do my reading at night after our son went to bed. Of course, I’m not tied down to television programs or other activities, so that made me a bit more confident that I could complete the program.

You also need to be aware that the enemy will try to prevent you from moving forward, because he realizes just how powerful this reading plan is in maturing you in Christ. But if you know these things going in, you can be prepared for it and seek the Holy Spirit’s strength and guidance.

I recommend that you join an online community to encourage you through the program. Otherwise, try following the reading plan on your own or with a friend or two. Find an outlet to express and share what you’re learning and what God is doing in your life as you venture through the Bible. I have been considering starting a small group this summer (as I will be following the B90 schedule again myself), so if you’d like to take the journey with me, please express your interest in the comments below. I would want it to be interactive with a weekly group participation through skype or google+ hang out.

I Do NOT Hate Polar Bears

I do NOT hate polar bears. I repeat: I do not hate polar bears, nor do I wish them to die.

On the other hand, I also value life, particular the life of the unborn children. After that, my next and most pressing concern is for the women who have gone through the experience of abortion.

My big mistake (apparently) was naming the thread on CBN.com linking to my blog (originally and still titled, “Living Sacrifice”) something catchy and attention grabbing such as, Polar Bears vs. Unborn Babies. And boy…did it grab your attention. Unfortunately, it grabbed the wrong kind of attention.

Some of you have implied that I’m insisting that we—as Christians, or pro-life advocates—must choose one over the other: the poor, helpless, innocent, dying polar bears; or the poor, innocent, helpless murdered unborn babies. I never said that, nor did I EVER imply that. There is a place for us to be concerned for both. But I would say, quite frankly and without shame, that our concern should be something we can somewhat control. Meaning, if we preach to the polar bears, they won’t be saved. Their lives won’t be changed. The environment is still going to do what it’s doing.

We can, though, control the abortion situation that is happening right in our backyards, so to speak, some in our own neighborhoods. We can minister to these women, pray for them, tell them and show them the truth, encourage them that there are options, educate our communities that there are clinics and people who can truly help them during their difficult time and provide real, honest hope for their future.

And when that doesn’t work and they proceed with an abortion, as Jesus said, “the field is ripe” to counsel these women who are dreadfully living with the consequences of their actions. Pray for harvest hands.

I am one of those harvest hands. As a post-abortive woman, I am pro-life, but I’m also keenly aware that that means nothing in today’s society. So when women decide to exercise their pro-choice decisions, but realize in the long run the horrific emotional, spiritual and physical pain they endure, I want to help by  providing God’s education to healing through His Word, His love, and His compassion to save and heal them.

I won’t be bogged down with the heavy burdens of other people’s desires to skew the truth I spoke, or mislead others into a heated political debate about global warming vs. abortion. That’s not what this blog, or the past blog, was about. It is solely about educating the world about the truth about abortion.

“But God’s angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing are lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth” (Romans 1:18).

If somehow that message got lost because everyone who read it was misled by this notion that I hate polar bears, my apologies are extended and hopefully forgiven. I hope this clears the air and settles the deceitfully harmful debate that somewhat drew attention away from the reality of the topic.

Where Are They Now?

I would also like to share something that a reader asked about on CBN pertaining to the aborted children and what happens to them. Paul described it like this in Romans 9:11:

“…her babies were still innocent in the womb—incapable of good or bad…”

That assures us that those innocent babies are up in Heaven.

We also know God formed us in the womb, that HE is our Creator, and we are His children. Those unborn children are God’s children, too. So they are in Heaven, be rest assured of that. If that doesn’t satisfy the nagging question, maybe this will help, too:

"God sovereignly made me--the first, the basic--before He did anything else. I was brought into being a long time ago, well before Earth got its start." Psalm 8:22-23

 

"Don't you see that children are God's BEST gift? The fruit of the womb HIS generous legacy?" Psalm 127:3 (MSG)

 

What About You?

If you ever had an abortion and you are currently wondering about your child(ren), those scriptures should give you comfort in knowing that God is taking care of them now until the day you will see and meet them face to face. They are in good Hands. But what about you? Are YOU in good hands? Are you being taken care of? Is God tending to your needs?

God is our healer and our comforter. Please seek help through any number of resources available for post-abortive women. Seek out local community family resource clinics or centers (NOT Planned Parenthood! They are pro-abortion and don’t offer such classes or counseling, since they don’t believe there are any side effects to having an abortion). Consider a weekend healing retreat with Rachel’s Vineyard. Or find an online community that offers confidential bible studies specifically for this type of healing.

Otherwise, if you’re just staring at this screen, afraid to move or reach out somewhat publically yet, why not instead reach out to the One who loves you dearly, and calls you His treasure and the apple of His eye. Reach out to the One who took your abortion on the cross. Who holds nothing against you, but only wishes to free you from your sorrow, anxiety, and guilt.

If that’s you, reach out to Jesus Christ now through this simple prayer and let Him begin the healing process through salvation and/or restoration:

Lord Jesus, thank You for taking my shame and guilt on the cross. Thank You for loving me so much that You stood in my place and took my wrath. I’m grateful to know that nothing surprises you—not even my abortion(s). I come to You right now, freely offering myself to You so You will be my Savior and Healer, asking for Your forgiveness, as I know You will faithfully accept me into Your Presence and take me into Your loving arms. I receive You as My Lord and Savior. I repent of all of my past and present sins. I hand over my life to You and denounce any evil strongholds that are currently trying to hold me down. Break the chains of darkness in my life, as I am confident that You have conquered sin on the cross when You died, and offered us a new life of hope through Your resurrection. I am also grateful to learn that my children are safe and sound and in Your eternal care and comfort. Thank You for showing me that my children, too, forgive me the way that You do. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.

Living Sacrifice

Today I found myself tangled in a messy debate over abortion on facebook. What triggered the conversation was someone’s post regarding how great the weather has been correlating to global warming.  A “friend” commented and said:

“I bet you won't be saying this when all the polar bears are extinct.  But I bet you don't care about the polar bears.”

I immediately found myself responding:

"I wish more people were concerned about the holocaust of unborn babies in our country than they are about polar bears in Antarctica.”

To which she responded:

“Use the word "holocaust" in its correct context. Holocaust means sacrificed by fire. Abortion is not a "sacrifice," it is a choice. A choice that is no one's business.

However, I did have to correct her, because although the word “holocaust” does indeed mean “sacrifice by fire,” it also means:

“Any mass slaughter or reckless destruction of life” (dictionary.com).

I followed it with a link to the movie, 180, which absolutely correlates abortion with the Holocaust. (The 30 minute movie is provided below. It is well worth the time, and you’ll be amazed as some of the answers that are given to random people on the street. Some knew nothing about Adolph Hitler, and others said they’d choose to bury Jews alive if given a choice to do that or be killed themselves. But what was incredibly fascinating as you continue to watch the movie connect abortion with the Holocaust, is the absolute transformation—right before your very eyes—of some of the people interviewed. You will see the shock and horror in their eyes, and their revelation of what abortion truly means in our society. Thus the name, 180.)

Pro-choice. Is the choice of abortion a “sacrifice”? When we think of ancient times, are we not horrified by the human sacrifices of babies? How does abortion differ?

I think the real sacrifice comes when we decide to be Pro-Life. When we choose life instead of murder. The real sacrifice is putting ourselves aside and taking responsibility for our actions, behaviors, and “choices.”

Abortion is quite literally a living sacrifice to selfishness and foolishness. It’s not a choice by any means. Not when we consider how many people are fooled into the notion that abortion is especially okay within the first trimester. According to Pregnancy Period:

“The first trimester is the stage of pregnancy that begins on the first day of your last menstrual period and ends at 13 weeks. During the first trimester, the basis for all of your baby’s organs will form.”

So let’s consider what happens during those first 13 weeks that everyone is so convinced is not life:

Day of conception: baby’s features, including sex, hair and eye color are determined (Before You Decide resource booklet).

Week 4: the babies heart is PUMPING and his/her movement is easily seen on ultrasound.

Week 6: the baby has fingers and has begun to move.

Week 10: fingernails and toenails start to form.

During training to become a post-abortion counselor, we are shown a video of an actual abortion. As the doctor inserts the instrument to grind the so-called “tissue,” the baby STRUGGLES to keep away from it. It squirms and fights for its life.

So let’s go back to the idea that the choice of abortion is “no one’s business.”

“Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva claim if a fetus can be aborted, a newborn can also be ‘terminated.’

‘Merely being human is not in itself a reason for ascribing someone a right to life,’ the authors write in an article published in the online edition of the Journal of Medical Ethics.” (Click here for the source.)

Once we say that an abortion during the first trimester is “legal” and ethical, we begin to push the boundaries concerning what life means. Is it no one’s business when we take a life because we may or may not think a child has a right to a life? When have we been given that right to decide? 

When will we MAKE this our business? If we were burning newborn babies in a calf or throwing them in poisonous showers would we still insist, “It’s no one’s business”?

Hitler did…

If you watched this movie from my site, please comment below with your thoughts.

THIS is a Christian Blog?

I’m usually not one for bad mouthing other bloggers, but today I was led to what seemed like a promising devotional blog. I was hopeful to find some encouraging words there, or scriptures that would inspire me. Oh no…that’s not what this website was about at all. Try to find God anywhere,  and it was only in the header photo with an image of the bible and the word “devotional” in the title.

Sure, the blogger has 2,404 followers, but only because it offers COUNTLESS giveaways, offers, coupons, and recipes, despite the “about me” declaration:

“Everything about my life is devotional and a living sacrifice for my Lord and Savior. In this blog, you will find prayers, inspirational thoughts, challenges, and everyday thoughts on living in the real world. I have included my passions--music and books--in addition to thoughts on real world living as a Christian and occasional giveaway.”

“Occasional giveaway”? The site was jam packed with everything about nothing. And I guess why I’m writing this and bringing this to the forefront of my blog, is because I have been desperately trying to find a way to get paid to write my devotional blog, NOTE TO SELF: Daily Reminders from God. If I were to do that, it seems God would get completely and utterly lost in the shuffle of recipes, coupons, contests, products, and other nonsense that has NOTHING to do with God or His sacred Word.

Do I want 2,000 followers? Uh, YEAH! But I want the RIGHT followers. I want the type of followers that come to my blog to find true and honest inspiration and hope. I want “followers'” of Jesus, not followers of giveaways and freebies.

Will I do the occasion book review and/or giveaway? YES! But they will truly be “occasional,” and they will ALWAYS be Christian books or products that are relevant to what my blog is about. I will never take God out of my blog…EVER!

I keep trying to find unique ways to get my name/blog out there, and the more I see of those who are “making it,” so to speak, are the ones who have utterly sold their soul for a couple bucks. I don’t see much value in many sites out there anymore. I’m sorry, but that’s a fact.

And when these so-called experts keep telling us, “Content is king,” don’t buy into that lie, because content means nothing. Half the people out there don’t even have a clue how to “write” or construct a paragraph worth reading. Any proper English/Writing teacher would gladly mark a big, fat, bold, red F on their home page. Quite honestly, most of the “sponsored” sites I’ve seen out there are obviously written by amateur writers looking to make an easy buck in cyberspace because blogging is all the rage.

My gift is writing. I use it to honor God. My content is about THE King of kings. I write to express, explain, and encourage. I take my time to write, and don’t rush things out the door just to make sure my mailing list (which I don’t have) can get the latest and greatest gadget for free in hopes of driving in faux traffic. I will absolutely have typos here and there/their/they’re, as that’s only natural, but they are not by any means intentional because I don’t have a clue how to write.

I’m truly sorry if this offends some bloggers, but I have to be honest about what’s going on out there because it’s despicable and shameful. I am publically resolving myself to that fact that if getting paid to blog means minimizing my message, I’ll gladly keep doing it for free…and for God!

I encourage you Christian bloggers out there who are trying to get your blog or website sponsored that you don’t lose focus on WHO you are, WHAT you believe, and who you believe IN. That you don’t sell your soul to the devil in hopes of sharing God’s Word (see the contradiction?).

What truly matters about your site or blog? Who is your target audience? Shoppers or Believers? If they are shoppers, don’t try to push your site off as a Godly place where followers can find and experience God. If they are believers, then don’t lose them by trying to buy them.

I am incredibly selective about the blogs I follow for this very reason. There aren’t many sponsored Christian sites that haven’t lost focus of their “faithful” following. There are a few sites that I absolutely love and I believe hold true to the values, morals and ethics of writing for God. And those bloggers know who they are because I am devout to their sites, their ministries, and their messages.

If your site is about giveaways, product promotions, contests, coupons or money saving tips…ignore me. But if you are a blogger, blogging for Christ you should consider this:

“God’s Message: ‘Guard My common good: do what’s right and do it in the right way’” Isaiah 56:1 (MSG).

Nuff said.

(I originally linked the blog that has me reeling, but I don’t feel the blog deserves anymore “mis”hits than it’s already receiving.)

Tavin’s Tale

This is more of an update than a blog, because so many wonderful people, all across the WORLD, are praying for our son, Tavin. I’m so thankful for all of you!

Today we received the results from the bone scan, and not surprising, they came back perfectly fine.
Here’s what we’ve gone through and discussed with the specialist:

• Jan. 16 is when this all began with a trip to ER. They determined he was NOT constipated, but gave him an enema anyway. He was in excruciating pain as he tried to “go”
• Jan. 19 he went to his pediatrician and she determined he IS constipated and prescribed a laxative.
• Jan. 28 was the 2nd trip to ER, they did an X-ray on his stomach and informed us that he was NOT constipated. The amount of feces he had in his bowel was normal; however, his lower intestine was filled COMPLETELY with gas. They determined the laxative was making matters worse. They prescribed something else, which was only a 5 day regimen.
• Feb 4 we had to make an emergency call to our pediatrician who wasn’t on call that weekend. The on-call doctor recommended we buy “over the counter” laxatives because he sounds like he’s constipated. I explain everything. That the ER meds worked for the 5 days, but now we’re done and he’s back to being in pain. She refills the medication.
• Feb. 6 Tavin is in SO MUCH pain, that we had to make an emergency doctor’s appointment. Our pediatrician was out, but the doctor on call would see us. While waiting for nearly 35 minutes, Tavin writhed in horrific pain on the lobby floor, screaming in agony, only to be told the doctor was “too busy” to see us. We decided it’s back to ER, although we know we’ll get no answers there again, either. (This is also the day my mother was admitted in the hospital.)
• Feb 7 Another trip to ER, only to wait for an hour. We realized after all that had been done the last time, we wouldn’t get answers again, so we went to our Lifegroup and had Tavin prayed over.
• Feb 8 our pediatrician calls us and recommends we put Tavin back on the laxative and double the dose. She refers us to a GI specialist up at Children’s Hospital. We take a video of Tavin in so much pain that every time he stands up to walk, he collapses down in pain.
• Feb 9 is our first GOOD day with Tavin since the pain started. However, it just so happened, this was the day we went to see the specialist. The night before we took a video of Tavin in horrific pain so we could show the doctor. The specialist takes a strep test, a feces sample, and sends us to get an ultrasound done for a hernia. The specialist said that since Tavin looked normal that day, there wasn’t much he could do for us. He didn’t care to see the video, nor did he look at the X-ray we brought. Ultrasound was fine. No hernia. No strep. He’s NOT constipated.
• Feb 9 back to ER, because the specialist recommended that we take Tavin to ER every time he’s in pain to try and get a CT scan DURING his pain. On the way back home, Tavin’s pain started again and we rushed him to ER only to sit and wait. He had a bowel movement and it was done. ER was useless.
• Feb 17 Tavin has a colonoscopy and EGD, results are fine
• Feb 27 Tavin has a bone scan
• Feb 29  Results from bone scan are fine. We discuss dairy allergy, they say to try it, but after hearing more of Tavin’s symptoms, the PA from the specialist’s office determines that would not be causing these problems and it sounds like he’s constipated. When I asked if it’s possible Tavin is holding it in, she said with the laxative we give him daily, there’s NO WAY he could possibly hold it in. However, with the laxative we give him daily…HE’S NOT GOING either! But the pain, on the other hand, is not going away!

My child is screaming out in pain, and now he’s getting so used to it, he’ll hold his breath or put his hands over his face to keep from screaming! He even, instinctually, started doing lamaz breathing! While we are forcing him to go by spreading his legs wide open and holding him close as he sits on the toilet, he now screams, “NO! NO! NO! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS!! MOMMY, IT HURTS!!!!!!!!” Sometimes it works, but the last few days we’ve had no success.

So here’s the verdict: he’s constipated, he’s not constipated, he’s constipated, he’s not constipated, give him a laxative, no that’s complicating things take him off the laxative, put him back on the laxative, he’s constipated.

It’s not allergies. It’s not cancer. It’s not a bone infection. It’s not constipation. It’s not a hernia. It’s not strep. There’s no blood in his stool—so that’s something. HOWEVER…we did get results back that he has acid reflux. Go figure.

We’re at a complete loss; however, the pain is absolutely real and awful for Tavin to endure, for us to witness, as well as listen to on a daily basis.

So…now you all know as much as we do. Which isn’t much.

I Love You. Thank You.

Hand Tavin his milk: “Thank you.”

Give Tavin a snack: “Thank you.”

Open the door for Tavin: “Thank you.”

Let Tavin play with the iPod: “Thank you.”

Tell Tavin, “I love you.”: “Thank you!”

Tavin understands the value of “thank you.” He inserts it in the proper places and very rarely needs to be prompted. But to say “Thank you,” after you tell him you love him? Seems like those time honored moments when you told that hunky boyfriend you loved him and his only response was, “Thank you.” Your heart sinks and you feel…dejected.

Not with Tavin. When he responds with a “thank you” after you tell him that you love him, he genuinely means it. There’s something so sweet and sincere about. He’s truly grateful that we love him. He  doesn’t only understand the idea of thank you, he also understands the value of being loved. He’s honestly thankful for that.

There are a million people out in the world who feel unloved. I know, I was one of them for most of my life. I needed to be validated by those words, regardless if they were honest, because I didn’t realize the value of love. They seemed like empty words to me because no one seemed to say it without an ulterior motive. Jared knew this about me, and instead of always just telling me he loved me, he showed it, much like how we now show our love to Tavin.

Tavin is so loved that he’s truly grateful for it. Although it’s an everyday occurrence much like his snack or glass of milk, it’s still a gift to him. He still sees it as something that is being “given” to him and he cherishes it.

I’m not offended when Tavin says thank you after I tell him I love him, because although that’s the response I instantly receive, it’s also followed with, “I wuv you too mommy.”

If only we could all be so grateful for the love we receive.

Circus, Circus

Lately my life has felt like a three-ring circus. One crazy, freaky event after another. In the first ring is Tavin’s unknown stomach ailment; in the second ring is our lack of finances; and in the center ring is my mom’s deadly cancer. Each thing keeps taking it’s turn in one ring or another, but always making a debut in the center ring.
We’ve been cooped up in this house for months, unable to do anything. Recently we were incredibly blessed with some extra money, so we decided to do something fun for ourselves. The circus was coming to town and Groupon offered a deal we couldn’t refuse.

Since Tavin’s colonoscopy and EGD last week, we prayed that Tavin would feel well enough to make it through the big event. We had a good day on Tuesday, then Wednesday was awful. Yesterday morning was okay, but then he was in enough pain that he couldn’t even nap. We were a bit concerned about taking him to the circus, but we didn’t want to let it stop us. Being stuck in the house because you’re broke is one thing, but not being able to go anywhere for fear your child will end up on the floor writhing in pain is entirely different.

So we splurged on McDonald’s and Tavin ate well. He was incredibly excited for the circus, since I had shown him some videos to prepare him. He kept clapping his hands and then rubbing them quickly together to show his enthusiasm. “What will we see at the circus, Tavin?” I’d ask. And he grin wide and say, “Tigoors. Elfants. Cwouns!” And then he’d laugh hysterically.

So our trip to MickeyD’s was good. The trip up to Milwaukee was great. But the second we pulled in front of U.S. Cellular Stadium, his pain began. He began to panic and cry, holding onto to his tummy. The look in his eyes was heartbreaking. He knew what this meant: that we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the circus.

When we were waiting to get our tickets, Tavin at one point collapsed on the floor in pain. I immediately held him close and prayed in his ear: “Lord Jesus, just give us this one night. Just let him enjoy this. Give him this. After all he’s gone through, please give him comfort and peace tonight. Let him experience some fun again!” And he was fine for the rest of the night!



I’m not sure what’s afflicting my poor baby, but I do know our prayers are working. It hasn’t been an overnight success, but I was recently reminded of Daniel’s story. He had been praying and fasting for 21 days and saw no results from his prayer. On the 24th day, Daniel was greeted by an angel who told him this:

"Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia” (Daniel 10:12-13).

Whether we believe it or not, outside of our natural sight is a spiritual warfare beyond anything we can imagine. Our lives are at stake everyday, but we have been promised by God that we are surrounded by angels who protect us. We may not see instant gratification from our prayers, but God heard us the second we cried out to Him and immediately sent our answer. Those angels dispatched to our rescue are going through literal hell to reach us. It’s no different than Rescue Missions in war. It may not happen right away, but help IS on its way.

We also need to remember that this is not our battle, but God’s. In the midst of a terrible battle, Jahaziel did something unique that provided him with a great victory. He knelt down and prayed. While he did that, the rest of the congregation “praised God at the top of their lungs” (2 Chronicles 20:19).

“As soon as they started shouting and praising, God set ambushes against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir as they were attacking Judah and they all ended up dead…God had given them JOYFUL relief from their enemies!” (2 Chronicles 20:22, 27).

Joyful relief. That’s what we need.

Some people may not believe in spiritual warfare, or believe that what’s happening to our son is a demonic attack. But why is it then, that at every moment of joy he gets to encounter, it’s somehow quickly ripped away from him. Those instances just seem to obvious to be coincidental.

When we got home, Tavin had an incredibly rough night. Night terrors. Screaming. Fear. Crying. Coughing. Stuffy nose. All night. He finally got some rest at 6 AM and slept until 10:30 AM.

Monday morning Tavin will be getting a bone scan done at Children’s Hospital. They will be looking for Discitis and Osteomyelitis. These two things can be easily resolved through simple antibiotics. I’m not wishing any harm on my child, but I need answers and resolutions soon. One more day of his pain is too long for him to keep enduring. So we are praying for real answers. We are praying for our angels to keep fighting our battle and win quickly.

I’m desperate for our days to be more like moments like these: